Redemption Lost
by XlittlefallingstarX
Summary: What if Iroh had never existed? How would it have changed Zuko's redemption arc and the events that followed? This one-shot explores the dystopian result of a world without the Dragon of the West.


_Submission for round 4 of the Pro-bending Circuit_

 _Word count: 2,883_

 _Prompts: hot chocolate, rose smell, quote_

 _I also incorporated my element of airbending_

* * *

 _Zuko stood strong and tall in front of his father, a sword clutched in each of his hands as he faced the man who had put him through so much. "...We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness."_

 _Ozai threw back his head and let out a scornful laugh before fixing his son with an amused smile. "Your uncle has gotten to you, hasn't he?"_

 _Zuko paused for a moment. In that fraction of a second, he felt happy and calm and sure of himself. He looked back up at his father, this time with a smile on his lips. "Yes. He has."_

Zuko's eyes shot open as he snapped into consciousness, his body drenched with sweat. He sat up with a little groan. Zuko closed his eyes and pressed the heels of his hands over his eyelids in frustration.

What the heck had that been about? The scene in the dream had never taken place. Even more puzzlingly, Zuko didn't have an uncle. In his dream, the idea of this uncle figure filled him with peace and assurance, which was something he didn't have in his real life. It was almost as if this made-up uncle represented the "good" part of him, which was obviously ridiculous. He _was_ good. He was exactly where he was supposed to be: at his father's side. Then why did he feel so terrible and wrong?

Zuko tipped forward so that he was on his hands and knees on the bed, his silky bedsheets clutched in his fists _. I don't have an uncle. I never have. I'm Prince Zuko, and I've done the right thing. I don't have an uncle. I never have. I'm..._

"Prince Zuko!"

Zuko straightened and took a shaky breath before calling out sharply, "What is it?"

"The Phoenix King is requesting your presence, sir."

"I'll be there in a moment." Zuko leapt out of bed and quickly tugged off his sleeping garments. He pulled on his royal clothing and fitted his plated armour in place. Zuko studied himself in the mirror has he pulled some of his dark hair into a topknot. After six years of growing it out, his hair now reached the middle of his back. His eyes were dark and shadowed, making him look older than his twenty-two years.

Zuko sighed and gave his reflection a half-hearted smile before he turned and made his way to his father's throne room. A maid passed him as he walked through the hallways, hitting him with a wall of nauseatingly strong rose-scented perfume.

"Prince Zuko, have you heard?" The maid gave him a little curtsy and smiled excitedly. "The Avatar has been found and will be arriving this very morning."

Zuko's heart froze for half a beat, but he quickly recovered and fixed the maid with a polite smile. "How exciting. If you'll excuse me?" Zuko half-walked, half-jogged the rest of the way to his destination and slipped through the gigantic doors of his father's throne room. Zuko crossed the room at a brisk clip, then dropped to his knees in front of the Phoenix King. "Father."

"You may rise." Zuko got to his feet and met his father's piercing gaze. "As you may know, the new Avatar will be arriving this morning. I want you to make sure everything goes smoothly at the prison. Before you go, I have to ask: did I ever tell you that the previous Avatar didn't know how to firebend when we battled?"

Zuko turned his head to the side. "I'm not sure."

"Well, he didn't. He was an unprepared child facing the most powerful firebender in the world during Sozin's comet. The fool didn't stand a chance. If he had been a fully-realized Avatar, the battle would have been much more difficult. I tell you this so you understand how important it is that we keep our new guest buried somewhere so deep that she will never learn to develop her powers. Do you understand?"

Zuko nodded. "Yes, father."

"Good. You may leave." Zuko bowed wordlessly to the Phoenix King and turned around to carry out his father's orders. He left the palace and waved away the servants waiting to bear him to the prison, preferring to walk on his own and arrive at the destination faster. Streets and houses passed by in a blur, and soon he had arrived at the Capital City Prison.

Three soldiers were waiting for him there. A girl no older than six stood next to them, chained hand and foot. The soldiers nodded at Zuko when he arrived and nudged the little girl. "Time to move." She took a half-step towards the prison, clearly terrified. One of the soldiers grunted in frustration and gave her a kick, sending her sprawling to the ground. "Faster!"

The Water Tribe child sniffed and swiped at her nose. Another one of the guards grabbed the little girl by her hair, yanking her back up. The Avatar cried out, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Don't hurt her!" Zuko shoved the soldier away and scooped the sobbing girl into his arms.

"Lemme GO!" To Zuko's surprise, the girl formed a little ball of fire over her fist and shot her arm forward to punch him. Zuko quickly reached up and covered the girl's hand with his, using his bending to smother the flames.

"See, Prince Zuko?" one of the soldiers said with a frown. "This little girl may look innocent, but she's a threat to our world dominance. She shouldn't be underestimated."

"I'm not underestimating her, I'm just not being cruel." Zuko tightened his grip on the girl and nodded sharply at the soldiers. "Abuse her again and you'll regret it. Now lead the way." The soldiers exchanged pointed looks with each other before shrugging and guiding the pair into the mouth of the looming prison.

* * *

 _—Some time later—_

Zuko gasped for air as he shot up in bed, his heart hammering in his chest _. Not again_. Zuko lifted a hand and rubbed it across his face in exhaustion.

In this dream he'd been the Fire Lord, and he was laughing with Aang like they were best friends. The idea was impossible. Azula was Fire Lord, not him, and Aang was long since dead. Zuko found that the part of the visions that he hated wasn't the dreams, but rather the feeling he got when he woke up. It was as if his real life was the nightmare instead of the other way around. The dreams had started as rare, scattered occurrences, but now they haunted him every night. Every time he closed his eyes. Hell, every spare second of every day.

Zuko leapt out of bed and began tugging on his clothes with crisp, determined precision. Enough was enough. He didn't know how to get rid of his nightmares, but he knew where to start: the Avatar. Something told him that a little chat would help clear his mind.

Zuko finished dressing and stalked off to the kitchens, navigating the dark, silent hallways with the confidence of a Fire Prince in his palace. Well, his father's palace, anyway. Zuko reached the empty kitchens and fed a ball of flames into the fireplace, then sifted through the drawer that the tea leaves were kept in. Zuko paused. Did little kids like tea? Probably not. Zuko knew that he used to love cocoa as a kid. _Everyone_ liked cocoa.

Zuko threw open the cupboards and began tearing things off of the shelves. Cocoa, sugar, milk. Zuko got to work and before long, he had a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of him. He took it into his hands and made his way out of the palace, a cloak draped over his face. Zuko managed to navigate the streets of the Fire Nation Capital without being noticed, and soon he was creeping towards the Capital City Prison. He entered through a side passagewsy, only to run into a guard.

The man lifted his spear, then quickly lowered it as he realized who he was pointing it at. "Prince Zuko! I didn't realize..."

Zuko ignored the man's stuttering and gripped the front of his uniform, the shoved him against a wall. "You speak of this to no one. Understood?" The guard nodded nervously. Zuko released him and gestured down the hallway. "Good. I need to speak with the Avatar."

The guard's eyes widened. "B-but... ah, of course, your majesty." The soldier led him to the Avatar's cell and unlocked the door with shaking hands. Zuko waved his hand at the nervous guard. "Leave us." The guard nodded compliantly and trotted away a little too eagerly.

As Zuko entered the cell, it dawned on him that the child might not be up in the middle of the night, and he silently reprimanded himself until his eyes adjusted to the dark and revealed that she wasn't asleep. The little girl was crouched in the corner, hugging her knees and staring at the circle of metal around one of her ankles that chained her to the wall. Even with the prison bars separating her side of the room from the side with the door, It wasn't much as far as restraints for the Avatar went. They'd move her to more secure facilities that were currently being constructed as she got older.

Zuko cleared his throat awkwardly. "I, um, brought you some hot chocolate." The little girl looked up at him for a moment, then shifted her gaze back down.

"I don't want it. You could have put bad stuff in it."

"That's ridiculous," Zuko snapped. "Why would I do that?"

The little girl shrugged. "Cuz you're a bad person."

"No I'm not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Then why are you helping the Fire Nation?" The girl looked up at him with wide, questioning blue eyes.

"The Fire Nation isn't bad. We're the greatest nation in the world."

The girl wrinkled her nose. "Nuh-uh. The Fire Nation is bad, and so are you."

"You don't know anything about me!" Zuko shot back. "I haven't had an easy life. My mother was the only person who really loved me, and she disappeared when I was a little kid. My father used to tell me that I was nothing, that I was lucky to be born. The world does so well without me, that I am moved to wish that I could do equally well without the world. But I can't. I constantly feel the need to fight and struggle and prove myself."

Zuko knew he was ranting at a child, but he found he couldn't stop. It was like floodgates he had been holding back for years had finally burst, and now everything he had kept bottled up was rushing out. "My father scarred and banished me when I was only thirteen. Do you have any idea what that was like?! For years, I was on my own. No one cared about me and no one believed in me. The only people I had were my crew, and even they hated me! There was no one to guide me, and I was scoffed at and humiliated wherever I went. I had to find my own way. The only purpose in my life was to restore my honor and come back home. That was the only thing that mattered."

Zuko squared his shoulders. "And you know what? I have. I helped the great Fire Nation come to power, and my father is proud of me now. I'm the perfect son, and I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Coming here was a mistake. You don't have anything to offer me. Goodbye, Avatar."

Zuko was just about to turn to leave when the dust on the floor flew up into a swirling whirlwind, concealing everything around him. Zuko stumbled backwards, stopping only when his back slammed against the opposite wall of the cell. The forgotten mug of cocoa slipped from his grip and shattered into little bits on the floor.

The wind stopped blowing, and the dust settled to reveal that the little girl was gone. In her place stood Avatar Aang. "Do you even realize what you've done to the world?" Aang's voice rang through the cell, full of power and anger. "In part because of you, because of things you did and things you failed to do, the Fire Nation has taken over the world. Opressed people are suffering and dying at the hands of your people. Everything is out of balance."

The Avatar stepped forward and passed right through the bars separating them. Zuko collapsed onto his knees in front of the airbender, his heart beating wildly. Aang swept an arm out, and a sea of faces swarmed in front of Zuko's vision. Men and women, some chubby, some thin... a variety of individuals with one thing in common: the blue arrow on their foreheads. Aang thrust his arm down to his side and the faces dissapeared into wisps of air. "An entire nation of airbenders, gone. Airbending, the ability to use one of the four core elements, is completely extinct. The last airbender left was killed at the hands of your father. You could have prevented it, but you didn't."

Aang's stony face twisted in pain, and he pointed a finger towards Zuko. "Leave me alone. Leave my present life alone. There may be something you can do to begin to right the wrongs in the world, but bringing her hot chocolate isn't it. You feel bad? Then figure out a way to overthrow your father. Remove the Fire Nation from the other nations, and then set the Avatar free. I don't know how you'll be able to do that, but there might be a way."

Aang slowly stepped back towards the opposite wall, suddenly looking tired and sorrowful. "If anyone in the world can do that now, it's you. And one last thing." Aang's stern face softened ever so slightly. "I can't speak for my friends or the current Avatar or the countless others hurt by what the world has become, so I won't. But I can speak for myself. And as for me..."

Aang reached up and touched a hand to his heart, where Ozai had dealt the final blow during their battle. "I forgive you. Now **_go_**."

There was a swirl of wind, and then Zuko was once again looking at the tiny form of the present Avatar, looking woozy and confused. "W-what?..."

Zuko didn't stay long enough to hear her finish the question. He threw open the door to the cell and ran out into the hallways of the prison. He sprinted into the open air of Capital City and didn't slow until he was back in the palace.

Zuko reached his room and made a beeline for the waste basket set in the corner. He dropped to his knees beside it and retched. Zuko gripped the sides of the container as his stomach clenched and lurched upwards, thrusting it's contents up his throat and out of his body. Zuko heaved until his stomach was empty, and then he heaved some more. He hunched over the basket as he gagged, sick and miserable. His body finally realized that no amount of throwing up would get rid of what had just happened. His stomach stopped squeezing and decided to twist uncomfortably at the pit of his gut instead.

Zuko gasped for air as a cold sweat beaded on his brow. He shakily sat down beside the basket and leaned against the wall behind him, swallowing hard in a futile attempt to clear his mouth from the taste of acidic bile. _God_.

Zuko closed his eyes and tilted his head back as his mind spun. Aang hadn't told him anything he didn't already know, but the way he had said it had clicked something inside of him into place. It was like a light had shone on his dark world, illuminating just how twisted and wrong everything had become.

Zuko had been pushing the truth aside for too long. His subconscious had known how wrong everything was for a long time, and it had been trying to shove the truth into his conscious mind with the unending nightmares.

Well, now Zuko was no longer in denial. He knew what he had to do if he was going to live with himself. Zuko couldn't think of a single person he could talk to for advice or ask for help, but it didn't matter.

No matter how long he had to wait and plan and no matter what he had to sacrifice, he would take down his father and pull his people from the other nations.

And he would do it alone.


End file.
